Relapse is one of the things recovering addicts fear most. Part of the reason for this is a sense that they don’t have control. What if they accidentally relapse into alcoholism?
But what does accidental relapse mean and is it really something to worry about?
I am part of a fanbase of a certain TV show in which one episode has brought divergent opinions. In this episode, the main character manages to sneak alcohol into a rehab in a water bottle. Someone with years of sobriety accidentally drinks it… and returns immediately to a lifestyle of addiction.
Can he really blame it all on the main character? Certain preconceived notions about alcohol addiction may make you think so. However, accidental relapse need not be something to stress about.
What is Accidental Relapse with Alcohol Addiction?
Accidental relapse refers to an incident in which a person in recovery drinks an alcoholic beverage without intending to. They may not know the beverage contains alcohol or might accept a drink out of habit. Either way, they did not relapse due to a craving and had no intention to break their sobriety.
But why should this be a big deal? Many people make it bigger than it is because of old addiction theories.
Is an Addict Always an Addict?
You may have heard the phrase, “Once an addict, always an addict.” It is borne out of a model of addiction that sees it as a chronic disease. In this model, every person who has become sober is just one drink away from going back to old habits. It’s based on the idea that the disease is not about the substance but rather underlying issues.
While it is true that alcohol addiction is a mental illness that goes beyond the substance itself, modern psychiatry has moved away from the “always an addict” model. In fact, the word addict is sometimes avoided in order to prevent labeling someone with their illness. It is similar to the way that we don’t refer to people with depression as depressives.
The old model works to an extent, but the label of “addict” can cause more problems than it solves. When someone considers themselves an addict for the rest of their lives, they may think about mistakes as much more significant than they are. They see a single lapse as a sign that they need to start over again, and the anxiety and despair may lead to further lapses.
This is not to say that people in recovery should not worry about relapse. Rather, once it has happened, it does not need to be seen as a disaster.
Similarly, although accidental relapse can lead to further lapses that is far from a foregone conclusion.
Life is Unpredictable
The Serenity Prayer reads as follows:
“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference”
The first line is particularly important when it comes to accidental relapse. It is impossible to control every scenario and once an accidental relapse has occurred, there is no way of taking it back. By accepting that you can’t always have control, you can turn your focus to the things you can control: continuing your recovery with the skills you have learned.
However, that same line is not as effective in the wrong context. If a person sees themselves as an addict and believes that accidental relapse sends them back to square one, they may believe they have no control over what happens next. Instead of continuing their good work, they despair in the belief that there is nothing they can do.
This is why it is so important that people in recovery do not confuse themselves with the illness. Addiction is an illness like any other. It can be treated and people who have worked for their sobriety are not in the same boat as they were beforehand.
What to do After Accidental Relapse?
What practical steps can you take after accidentally drinking? The most important thing to remember is not to panic or feel like you’ve failed. Recovery is a process, and one unintentional slip doesn’t erase the progress you’ve made.
The first step is to acknowledge what happened, without judgment or shame. Contacting a trusted support person, such as a friend in recovery, therapist, or loved one, can help provide perspective and guidance.
Reflect on the incident by looking at the facts and remembering that everyone makes mistakes. If you feel guilty, that’s okay, but there is no need to act on the guilt. What is done is done.
Instead, use this as an opportunity to reinforce your commitment to sobriety. Continuing to attend support groups, revisiting coping strategies, and reestablishing your routine will help you regain control and prevent future lapses.
Conclusion
Relapse is a real concern for people who have recovered from alcohol addiction. However, accidental relapse does not magically negate your hard work. You’re in a better position today than you were before recovery, as you have better tools to get you through.
