Are you struggling to find the right way to talk about addiction with your teenage children? You’re not alone.
Every generation struggles to find a balanced approach to addiction education. There have been countless campaigns with varying levels of success. Some have tried to scare teens with horror stories about substances. Others have tried to inspire with inspirational tales of recovery.
Education into the status of addiction as a mental health disorder has also been crucial in raising awareness of how it can be prevented and treated.
No campaign has been perfect. We still have an addiction crisis in this country and there is no magic combination of words that will prevent the next generation from the same battles.
However, we do have a better understanding of how to discuss addiction with teens effectively. The approaches that work best come from the parenting models developed by experts in the behavioral sciences.
Perhaps the most important finding is about one major obstacle over which past generations have stumbled. That is failing to take the teen perspective into account.
Here is what you need to know.
Why Should We Listen to Teenagers?
When you sit down for a discussion with your child about addiction, you have all the information prepared. You’ve read the latest research and statistics, and have stories of just how severe the consequences of addiction can be.
Your child, on the other hand, is unlikely to have much experience or education in the subject at all. Why would you listen to them?
One reason is that everyone wants to be seen, no matter their age. Think about the last time you were subjected to a lecture by an educator or boss. If it was all one-way traffic, you probably felt very resistant, whether or not they had a point.
Many adults treat teenagers this way, which leads to the sense that their words are irrelevant. After all, if the person doesn’t see them, how could they possibly know what’s best for them?
The reality is that they are right about this! Listening to the teenage perspective is not just about showing them you care. In order to properly communicate with them about addiction, you need to understand where they are coming from. No one is better placed to explain it to you than them.
Mental Health and The Teen Perspective
Every young person experiences the world in their own way, and it is therefore impossible to provide a universal conception of the teen perspective. However, there are certain common factors impacting the younger generations today which did not exist for their parents.
Social Media
The impact of social media on the mental health of both teens and adults is well-documented. Heavy usage of social media is linked to cyberbullying, unrealistic body image standards, and the spread of misinformation about mental health issues. These factors contribute to increased rates of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem among teens.
The natural reaction of many parents to this information is to limit or even ban social media usage. They assume that if you take away the cause of the issue, the problem will go away.
Unfortunately, it is not this simple. Regardless of whether your child has access to social media, its impact is present in their lives. In fact, lack of access can create its own issues, including social isolation. Teens today use social media to communicate. Even when face-to-face, being up-to-date with trends can be necessary for context.
This is why we need to listen to our children when speaking about mental health. Social media has a unique impact on different teens in different parts of the US. Furthermore, your child might be struggling with an aspect of social media that you wouldn’t know to consider – their own indignation at the online treatment of a peer, their difficulty keeping up with the fast pace of culture, or myriad other issues.
Modern Academic Pressures
There’s a misconception among older generations that young people today have lower standards for themselves. This perception is often linked to the idea that they have been coddled by society, with ‘participation trophies’ rewarding mediocrity.
Research shows that this couldn’t be further from the truth. Young people are more aware than ever of what awaits them as adults. They know that making ends meet in today’s economy is tough, and that the job market is competitive. They may have experienced it second-hand through their parents’ employment circumstances or through discussion in traditional and social media.
For this reason, the current generation feels tremendous pressure to excel academically, leading to anxiety, shame, and high levels of stress.
Listening to your child’s perspective is the only way to appreciate the pressure they are feeling. It gives you the opportunity to provide support and comfort, while helping them find new ways to approach their schooling.
Increased Awareness of Global Issues
Today’s teens know more about the world than any generation before them. While this can drive positive social change, it can also have a negative impact on mental health.
Because of this increased awareness, teens are anxious about massive problems over which they have no control. In the climate crisis, they see an existential threat. In global wars and oppression, they see that the world does not work in a fair way, often leading to suffering and chaos.
You may know the same information as your child, but your understanding of it and reaction to it may differ greatly. Speaking to them about their specific concerns will help you empathize so that they feel less alone.
Preventing Addiction
Addressing teen mental health is important. But what does this have to do with addiction?
Teens struggling with mental health issues are at a significantly greater level of risk of addiction than those who are not. Addressing teen mental health is therefore one of the most important strategies in preventing addiction.
Furthermore, for a teen struggling with anxiety, a laundry list of the dangers of substances can make an existing issue worse. Similarly, a teen struggling depression with may hear horror stories about addicts and feel even more hopeless.
Rather than preventing addiction, their level of risk increases, even though they are more aware of the risks.
This doesn’t mean you should hide the truth about addiction, but rather shows how important it is to approach these conversations with sensitivity, nuance, and openness.
Addiction and Teen Perspectives
Understanding teen perspectives is not just important when discussing their mental health. It is also crucial when discussing addiction itself. Yes, you know all the important information. But they know the context in which the information will be understood.
If you think back to your own teen years, this may resonate with you. Like many of today’s parents, you probably knew all about the risks of alcohol and drugs in your teens. Maybe you had no intention of ever touching substances, only to change your mind the first time you attended a party where alcohol was available.
When thinking back to those days, you can understand all the factors at play which led you to certain decisions. You need to get a better understanding of what your teen is facing today when in similar situations.
As with social media, simply banning environments with substances is often ineffective. You won’t always know which environments are substance-free and which are not. Blanket bans can also lead teenagers to rebel, increasing the risk that they will use substances in an act of defiance and independence.
There are no easy answers to the question of what to do to prevent substance abuse in teens, but having honest discussions and listening to their perspectives makes the path forward a lot clearer.
Creating a Judgment-Free Zone
Openness to your teen’s perspective is not always going to be enough. Teenagers are not known for being eager to share their deepest thoughts with their parents!
In order to encourage sharing, you need to create a judgment-free zone. You need to be explicit about the fact that you will not think any less of them if they say something you disagree with. You also need to help them understand that when you impose consequences, you are punishing behaviors and not making a judgment on their character.
Keep the channels of communication open. Your discussion should not be a one-time event. Rather, remind them that they can speak to you about these issues at any time, and that you’ll always take their thoughts into account.
Conclusion
Addiction in teens is still a crisis in the US, despite higher levels of awareness and education. No campaign has had perfect results, but listening to your teen’s perspective when discussing addiction can make a huge difference. Today’s generation has factors to consider that are new to all of us.
Creating open channels of communication with your teen is the biggest step you can take towards supporting them through mental health challenges and preventing addiction.
