Drug Rehab 2021 Round 2 – My Shame

Name: Emmanuel Asiedu

My Shame

From where I come from, almost three out of ten youths have some addiction in one way or another. There are no proper facilities and provisions made to curb this disease.

Youths are abusing drugs, watching pornography, indulging in distractive acts, destroying their lives and souls. Addiction has gradually become a chronic disease that is given less attention in the world. If the youths are the future of tomorrow, why is today not paying attention to our pains?.

Why are there liquor stores on almost every street in our country? Why are there no reasonable restrictions on pornography and alcoholic companies in our country?

Curbing addiction is a collective responsibility of our government, parents, schools, and companies that produces addictive content and products.

Our schools and communities should have specialists who will continually monitor our youth’s lifestyle and behavioral changes. And will conscious sermon and engage them. Monitoring our youths’ lifestyles will make it more accessible to help reduce the impact of addiction on their well-being and mental health.

Below is my Shame;

It was July 2009, and I’d just turned 15 years old when my parents concluded that they wanted me to relocate from our farmhouse to the city in other to have a good education.

My parents have ten children, and I’m the 7th born. Non have been able to achieve any academic excellence. For this reason, they took me to the city to live alone and continue my primary education. To my parents, it was the best decision for me to reach academic heights.

Indeed, I fulfilled that decision and goal. But through the process, I fell into my biggest Shame and the only secret I’ve in this world, “Porn and masturbation addiction.”

I haven’t had the courage and strength to share this pain with anybody until now.

It was nearing Christmas, and I had no television in my house. One evening I decided to visit a friend whose parents were on vacation to watch tv.

The moment I entered his room, to my dismay, I saw naked people doing something I have never seen before on the television.

He was a little older, so I asked him what he was watching, he said porn. I was curious to know what it was, so I sat myself down and watched along.

At some point, I saw someone stroking his penis. It was ridiculous because in my home, even if my parents see you touch your penis for any reason, they will aggressively shout at you without saying why. I asked him why the guy is doing that; this was his answer, “It will make your penis bigger and make you feel good.”

That night, I couldn’t sleep nor focus in class the following day. That scene was recurring in my mind that I started watching porn and masturbating.

It was then my world started crashing down. I became withdrawn from everybody, and I became quiet and lonely. I started performing poorly in school.

When I look back to those days, I asked myself, “what caused this? why me ?”.

The only answer I can think of is the lack of supervision from my parents. I was too young and naive to stay alone without their supervision.

Poverty was the main factor the led my parents to make this hasty decision.

Our government has failed us. How on earth could a 15-year-old boy get access to pornographic material?

I have been battling porn and masturbation addiction for the past ten years of my life.

It has severely ruined my social life and relationships, made me depressed all of my life, and caused me severe sexual problems and my religious life.

There were days I wanted to end my own life because I won’t be able to handle it when my parents and loved ones find out.

There were days I wanted to leave home and travel far away to a new land.

It was in 2021 that I had by breakthrough from porn and masturbation addiction. I meet this man of God that saw the pain in my eyes. He saw how hard I’m trying to stop this addiction but to no avail.

He prayed for me and gave me a spiritually anointed oil to use and fast. He counseled me and guided me through this challenging time until I became free. I know there are several other ways people break out from their shames, but that was mine.

Since then, I have been able to stay away from my Shame, and my socioeconomic life has improved drastically.

I’ve started treating the physical damages this porn and masturbation addiction have had on my health and sanity.

If someone thinks porn and masturbation are not an addiction, let them read my Shame.