Addiction Awareness Scholarship Campaign 2020 Round 2 – A day that changed everything


A day that changed everything

As a nation we are seeing a higher number of people dealing with addiction and there are several reasons causing this addiction. Think about the dopamine spike we get when our phone goes off with a text message, or somebody likes or comments on a social media post. This feeling makes us feel so good in the moment, and then we want to keep feeling that good, so we constantly look at our phones waiting for the next notification. Unfortunately, when you are used to getting those dopamine spikes and they stop, some start looking to other ways to get the spike, and unfortunately its with drugs or alcohol. The Pandemic is also not helping because people are unable to see their friends or family which is making them depressed, and it has shown that overdose numbers have actually increased in the last six months.

A year and a half ago my family was destroyed because of addiction. I was married, we had a successful thriving company and four beautiful girls. The destruction actually started four years earlier, my ex-husband had a client that wanted to meet two to three times a week for happy hour. I had never seen him so happy to know that clients wanted to talk to him outside the confines of the office or field sites. Well, once my ex started drinking, he never stopped, the only thing that happened was the amount he drank increased and increased. He started finding other clients to go out to happy hour with but having a drink and discussing work was not his main goal anymore it was to get the buzz. It was so bad that in 2018 he ended up blacking out falling off a high porch and bursting his spleen. After emergency surgery and almost a month in the hospital his parents and I prayed this was his wake-up call that things were going to change.

Things did not change, little did I know that to cope with the pain from the surgery and complications once he got home, he started taking cocaine as well as drinking to help alleviate the pain. Things continued to spiral out of control, he started missing kids sporting events, school events, they didn’t matter anymore, and in fact if I didn’t go to the bar with him at night neither did I. June 7, 2019 his addiction changed all of our lives, my oldest daughter who was 15 at the time was watching her sisters while we went out with a couple of friends. In two hours, he consumed enough alcohol that would put most people in the hospital, and we went home. He got mad at me over something really trivial, by the time we had walked in the door, he had decided he wanted me out of the house, and the way he was talking I was truthfully scared. So, I told my girls to grab a bag for the night and we would leave until he sobered up. Well that was not acceptable in his book. He started strangling me in front of our children, to the point where I blacked out. My girls ended up having to call the police on their father that night. I very well could of died that night if they had not thought to call 911.

That was the moment I decided his addiction was enough for the girls and I. We moved out and I filed for divorce, in this time I found out about the cocaine use. Three months after we moved out, he was still spiraling out of control and ended up in a car accident where he was charged with a super extreme DUI, had alcohol and cocaine in his system. At this point his business is tanking and he has run away, moved out of state, and I am awaiting the day that we get a call saying the police have found him dead from an overdose.

This all started from the need of feeling like he fit in and had friends. Before he started drinking for years it was just him me and the girls. We had a couple of close friends we talked to every once in awhile but we really just focused on our children. Once he realized that people would go to happy hour with him, it made him happy. Then once he became a regular at the bar everyone talked to him and he felt like he was king of the world, what he didn’t realize is if he wasn’t paying for everyone’s drinks, most would not have been hanging out with them.